TUF 17 Ep.5 was a rather cordial affair lacking in trash talk and pranks, but the episode did feature fisticuffs between two dynamically polar contenders seemingly typecast into clichés -- the grizzled veteran that trains with the Champ against the youngest of all time.
The Blow-by-Blow
Early in the episode TUF drops a bit of knowledge on you -- Jon ‘Bones’ Jones trains with Bubba McDaniel (20-6) in
Albuquerque, N.M. With this info nugget on the table, and consistent reminders throughout the episode, the producers make it clear that Bubba is an experienced fighter and should be considered the favorite over Kelvin Gastelum (5-0), who entered the season as the youngest-ever TUF competitor.
One of the more interesting moments in this week’s episode was a casual, even pleasant discussion between Jones and Chael Sonnen early in the episode. In the hallway outside of the locker rooms, the coaches chat about Bubba’s strengths and his past training with Jones. The soon-to-be PPV opponents seem to genuinely enjoy each other’s company, but Jones records a confessional indicating he has plenty of time to learn to dislike Sonnen before their fight.
At the house, the teams decide to engage in a game of charades. Charades? Yes, as in tapping-into-your-inner-thespian-and-acting-stuff-out charades. Gilbert Smith, who is dressed only in his skibbies and is accordingly ridiculed, surprisingly managed to act out “Coming to America.”
(Sidebar:
“Coming to America” is easily one of the 10 greatest movies of all time, if not top-five, right? Right. Somehow, my fiancée has managed to live for 25 years without seeing this cinema classic.)
Meanwhile, Bubba sits outsides sulking by himself next to the fire, which is a lovely place to sulk. We learn that you probably wouldn’t want to be Bubba’s friend, but more on that later.
As we get closer to the fight, coach Sonnen gives a speech to his team on how the environment will change, but the act doesn’t and soon breaks into a
Ric Flair-esque promo:
“This team is coached by the reflection of perfection. We’re demanding all of your attention and, Jon Jones, I want to know what you’re going to do when you know who, how you’re going to deal with the team of steel and how will you react when I put my boys on the attack.”
Josh Sammen tells Jones he doesn’t want to fight next because, “the whole left side of (his) body is kind of falling apart.” Unfortunately for Josh, the coaches don’t seem to buy his story and think he’s trying to dictate his schedule.
Bubba looks good at the weigh in, or is “shredded like lettuce” as a teammate puts it and towers over Kevlin, but there is little drama at the weigh in this week.
Get to Know Your Fighters
Bubba isn’t a good dude. And he’s old. Bubba says he’s the kid you know that shouldn’t be alive, but he made it. And he’s had a lot of trouble with the ‘Johnny Law’: “The law sometimes doesn’t agree with me and it’s cost me.” He got his start in the fight game when he heard a radio promo for a tough man contest at 19-years-old and got beat down -- and he’s been trying to grind it out as a fighter since.
Kelvin works as bail bondsman and trains in his time off. He was raised by a single mother from Mexico who struggled to support their family -- and that provides his inspiration. As a young up-and-comer, Kelvin’s goals are simple -- he wants to quit his job and be able to train full-time. Kelvin’s a wrestler by practice, but is working on his boxing, and is the youngest ever on TUF, as mentioned frequently.
Guests in the Gym
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This is the face of fighter, not a lover. |
Sonnen brings in no other than swollenface Mickey Rourke to speak to his team. Rourke explains that, “discipline in (his) life came late,” and two of his boxing draws were on account of messing around the night before. Discipline. Keep it in your pants. Valuable lessons indeed.
Gilbert gives Rourke some cred for his boxing career -- who was 6-0-2 in a three year pro run -- but then offers a caveat: “He probably wasn’t the greatest pro boxer, but, you know, he did step in the ring.”
Round One
Both fighters come out feeling each other out. Bubba (20-6) attacks first, yet finds himself on his back after some poor grappling, but is easily able to kick off the wrestler (5-0). The fighters immediately clinched, with Kevlin using his leverage to pull Bubba to the ground and onto his back. While working for a guillotine, Bubba sweeps Kevlin and takes his back, but is unable to secure both hooks on the shorter fighter who fights to his feet. To this post, the most meaningful strikes of the round may have been a pair of knees to the back of Kevlin’s thigh as Bubba had his back standing.
Back on the ground and Kevlin sweeps Bubba to his back, but Bubba returns the favor shortly after and Kevlin gives up his back. Bubba sinks the hooks and attempts a read naked choke. However, Kevlin manages to roll, get to his feet and escape Bubba’s grasp. Shortly after, Bubba is again on his back and on the defensive after sprawling and seeing the wrestler use his speed to take the back and put Bubba on the mat. But, Bubba sweeps … again … only to have Kevlin sweep … again. Kevlin stood and fired a wild strike at the Bubba as he lay on the mat to end the round in the most fitting way possible -- with a big sloppy exclamation point that meant nothing.
I Ain’t a Real Judge
Scoring fights isn’t my day job, but I would give Bubba the round 10-9.
Round Two
Kevlin opened the second round with the best shot of the night, a solid left leg strike to the outside of Bubba’s right thigh. But immediately after, the fighters engage in a sloppy exchange of seemingly choreographed kicks, with one fighter unthreateningly flailing right after the other in B-movie Kung-Fu style. Bubba attempts to trip Kevlin from a clinch, but falls to his back. Kevlin takes the dominant position and fights for a pair of guillotines, but Bubba escapes and reverses Kevlin to his back. After again offering his back to Bubba, Kevlin manages to stand and shake Bubba to again to take the top position. The wrestler is clearly scoring points in the second round -- and Bubba has a significant welt where Kevlin kicked him to start the round. Kevlin again takes Bubbas back and finally sinks in a strong rear naked choke to end the match.
Winner
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And this is the face of defeat, which is
slightly prettier than Rourke. |
Kevlin Gastelum by rear naked choke at 2:22 in the second round.
At the Bell
It’s probably a bit of a conspiracy theory, but the producers really seem to like Luke Barnatt. He seemed to have the most confessional commentary in Ep.5 outside of the pair fighting, and was again featured in the promo for Ep.6. Is it intentional foreshadowing by the producers or coincidence? I don’t know, but it just feels like he’s being ‘sold’ by the producers.
Bubba broke down after his loss and had to be reminded by Jones that he is still eligible for the Wild Card to continue his dream.
Next Week
As Sonnen eloquently stated, “with Kevlin’s win, the bag guys have retaken control.” Team Sonnen will put forth Tor Troeng and selected Josh as his opponent -- and the Ep.6 promo hints that his injuries could become an issue. Sonnen says he selected the fight because, “at the house, guys are intimidated by both these guys.”
Cliché of The Night
“You’re only as good as your last fight.” -- Bubba McDaniel, prior to tears of irony.